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Jul. 19th, 2004 @ 04:38 pm
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WOO-HOO! I found an apartment that allows small dogs! It's pretty spacious and has wood floors too. Now lets see if I get approved. |
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Jul. 18th, 2004 @ 05:08 am
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My landlord said that in order to renew my lease I have to get rid of my dog because he has decided to make it a pet-free apartment complex. It's almost impossible for a starving student to find a place around here that allows pets considering the places that usually allow them are the nicer apartments. So I've considered finding her a good home, I've considered biting the bullet and moving into one of the few places i can move, all of which by the way have one catch or another, ugly wood paneling, waaaaay too far from campus, or something. I've been trying to reason giving her away so I don't feel like shit, oh she might be happier find a family that loves her as much as I do with a back yard, blah blah blah. I even have her picture going up soon on a paws website..But the simple fact of the matter is I love this dog more than I've ever loved any dog EVER. I'm not even a dog person and she won me over. I was just laying on the bed looking at her and thinking about all this and I leaned over and kissed her and she put her little paw on my chest. It's not fair, she wasn't one of the dogs causing trouble why should she be punished? :( I'm very upset about this.Current Mood:  sad |
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Jul. 11th, 2004 @ 04:16 pm
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Maaaan, I gotta tell you, It's 101 degrees here and I woke up, went to the bathroom and i've got heat rash in the worst possible place. This really sucks..Just imagine how much this sucks and be thankful. |
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Jul. 10th, 2004 @ 03:24 am
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I finally caved and allowed myself to be pulled from the quiet little hole that is my apartment. I went to see my friends band play and it was pretty cool, but I fucking hate everyone. What do you do when you've got no choice but to hate everyone? I hate everyone for being such noise-a-holics. People acting outrageous for attention. It's a show, everything is a show, nothing gets better. In the new world their is no beauty to Shakespeare writings, its only ink and paper, thats it...Thats all. Fuck! everyone is a fucking actor, what are the models now for this role? Inspiration is tha bling-bling, money, profit, we're all components of a bigger machine. Fucking vanity, everyone is looking in the mirror fixing their hair every piece in perfect for the image of messy, this is what it is. I don't want music, I don't want noise, I want a book from when people used to think. Silence, me, and my take of it all. Fucking people grrr!:)Current Mood:  aggravated |
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Jul. 5th, 2004 @ 05:29 am
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You know what? I've realized lately that I probably really am an alcoholic and that the people I associate most with aren't even really my friends. I mean if we were to hang out in a completely sober setting regularly I'd realize we've got absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about. So there, the first step is admitting it right? I don't think the problem so much is getting sober. I can hang out in my apartment and not drink at all. I never drink alone. It's just when I get out and I have a few drinks then I start speaking more fluidly, I'm not as shy and so I keep drinking because I'm having fun. It's fun to pretend I'm like them, making stupid jokes about disgusting things, talking about retarded ass stuff, and being overly sexual, it's fun and easy to not be yourself. Only problem is, once i've come to this conclusion what do I do when most of my friends are alcoholics? I should pull myself from this scene and meet new people, get in to "sober" activities..so I'm starting a yoga class and maybe i'll start working out. I think the rec center is free for students..hmm. Lately I've just been reading. I'm reading "My year of meats" which is disturbing me into becoming a vegetarian again. Still I've found myself in this cycle, being anti-social to avoid alcoholism, being a social alcoholic to avoid the depression that comes with being anti-social. Eh well, Fuck these ailments! I want to be myself again and feel a little honor that I think I used to have. Ha, but really, it will never defeat me. I know this.Current Mood:  optimistic |
| » Cause i'm still fucking awake |
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I AM 72% PUNK ROCK!  The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. I may be able to maintain a train of thought long enough... What the fuck was I talking about? |
Jun. 25th, 2004 @ 06:30 am
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Well, the fact is I just can't drink anymore. I don't know if i've ever mentioned in this journal that i've been diagnosed with bipolar/social anxiety disorder with a dash of obsessiveness. Anyway, so the drinking is really throwing off my medication and the other night I went out drinking and normally i leave my check card home but this time i took it out and got so fucked i started buying rounds of shots for everyone and ran up quite a tab but that isn't what worries me, what worries me is that i woke up the next morning in bloody sheets, with blood on my face, walked to the bathroom and theirs blood on the sink and floor. I had sliced myself up pretty bad. I remember it somewhat but can't think of or recreate what I must have been feeling that night. My girlfriend is out of town and will soon be out of the country for a while and I think she's really my stabilizing force. I don't drink when i've got her to come home too. I care more about myself, and really now is the time to step forward and be strong on my own. I didn't realize I relied so much on someone else. It makes me feel like complete shit.
Jun. 25th, 2004 @ 04:44 am
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Let me tell you that I know that i'll be content when I become a hermit. I analyze , I try to figure out why i believe that most people are morons, and i came to the conclusion that i believe that because it true...Let me say Buttery nipples, lets me drop the name, or mention an alcoholic beverage so that you know to disregard what might be unkind or embarrassing..I've made an excuse now i'll go to bed. This is your random drunken post, expect more.
Jun. 22nd, 2004 @ 04:17 am
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I do not fear this silence but dream with open eyes. I fear more the static of lives pressed on me as I shut the door behind me, to sell my life hour by hour to the corporate gods. I think a warning label should be required for every job application. Warning: this job will take 1/3 of your life per day, is it worth it? After all we really are nothing more than trained monkeys for that 8 hrs. I would quit smoking if it were as lethal to my body as working a dead end job is for my soul.
Jun. 17th, 2004 @ 10:50 pm
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| » Hell happened today. |
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Hell is a broken A/C in a pizzeria on a summers day in the bible belt. I shit you not it was above 90 in there because it was 80+ degrees outside which was refreshing when stepping out of the store. I'm not a big sweater but I had it dripping down my face and my hair was wet. As soon as I got off, I ripped my shirt off and my wifebeater was just glued to me with sweat. This event doesn't sound worthy of a post but it was quite miserable. I'll stop bitching now.
Jun. 16th, 2004 @ 04:56 am
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| » She works hard for tha money! |
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Wow so it seems I don't sleep these days because even when I do fall asleep someone else is knocking on my door, rattling my apartment or blowing up my phone..So I decided to profit from this lifestyle I've found myself falling back into. First of all, I talked to my apartment manager who is leaving in a week for better employment and he suggested that I go to my realtor and talk to them about becoming the new apartment manager. This would mean a bigger apartment, free rent and free utilities. You barely get anything a month though which sucks but hey I'm getting paid pretty much to just live somewhere and collect rent. So before and after work i'm going to scrub the shit out of my hair and try to get the pink out so that I can talk to them tomorrow. I'm trying to look as little like a punk as possible, so yeah no septum ring:/. Second of all I've composed a short list of easy jobs like delivering USA today, being a mystery shopper, working at a call center, and one seasonal job as a cashier thats listed wages is unusually high, but it's a two week job and the hours are long. I'd like to deliver USA today since it doesn't look like I spend the night sleeping anymore. I might actually get two other jobs in addition to the one I have and then I'm really crossing my fingers for the job as an apartment manager. I've pulled off three jobs before. I think I can handle four jobs like this during the summer, after all I need to save for when school starts again. Anyway, I need a shower and some coffee. I'm out.
Jun. 15th, 2004 @ 06:47 pm
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| » I'm not mother Teressa, damn it! |
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So today, or yesterday if you will, I woke up after not much sleep at all to techno bumpkin rattling my walls. Okay, it's okay if I didn't get much sleep all the better maybe I'll get to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight(obviously didn't happen). My friend left me her keys while she went to Boneroo and considering she lives in the same apartment complex as I do I decided to bust in and steal milk for my coffee. I'm enjoying a nice cup of joe and envisioning a full day of relaxation and reading since it seems everyone I know is either at Boneroo or somewhere else in the nation when the phone rings. I actually did the right thing in ignoring it cause when I checked my voice mail it was work asking me to come in. Let me tell you about my Schmuck ass self, I'm sitting their knowing I'd rather do ANYTHING than work and that if I call them back I'm too much of a pussy to simply say I don't want to work, without a valid reason. So I end up working today as a favor to the GM. I get their and theirs three drivers, one left and I'm stuck with the new guy, so basically it was my shift and everything was late because the new guy was taking no less than an hour on ever run. I got chewed out by this woman because according to her, her pizza was two hours late, now the order was taken an hour and fifteen minutes prior to my arrival, the estimated delivery time that we were giving was an hour, you do the math. I love these dramatic customers, you know the pessimists that consider every second after they order to be a second late, like as soon as they put down the receiver they should hear a knock on the door, often they are repeat customers that will "never order again" and NEVER tip so your thinking okay good take your business elsewhere one less stiff for me. What gets me is how someone can get so bent out of shape over their pizza being a few minutes late. Like it's the end of the world. Come on things come up, we get understaffed, have unexpected bursts of business, theirs traffic problems, a wreck, a train, a million things, and i'm not about to break my neck for some cheap ass that wouldn't tip me no matter how quick I am. After dealing with this situation, quite gracefully, I might add. I get back and am begged to close cause the other driver, like I said, is new and can't really handle that shift. So what do I do but close. Their goes my beautiful vision of the way my off day will be spent. Three more days til my next off day, this time i'm turning my phone off.
Jun. 15th, 2004 @ 05:01 am
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Jun. 14th, 2004 @ 02:47 am
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What the fuck is with my downstairs neighbor?!?! Does he sleep? All I'm saying is, I might as well decorate my apartment to look like the inside of a pinball machine because it sure as hell feels like i'm in a game with the shaking walls and techno electronica sounds. Fuck! Some people have jobs you fucking douche!
Jun. 12th, 2004 @ 07:46 pm
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| » Random historical fact. |
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The invention of the first vibrator is credited to American physician George Taylor in 1869 who patented the first "steam-powered massager". Doctors in those days treated hysterical women by bringing them to orgasm. Perhaps unsurprisingly, hysteria was a common complaint among Victorian women.
Jun. 11th, 2004 @ 01:58 am
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I have just viewed the most grotesque video I think that I've ever seen. Now I'm pretty thick skinned about death and gore and the like but I came across the video of Nicolas Berg being beheaded by terrorist and my curiosity got the best of me I had to take a peek. This literally upset my stomach and I don't think I've ever felt so nauseous just watching something..It's truly sickening whats going on, on both sides of that war.
Jun. 9th, 2004 @ 04:27 am
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| » Telescopes point Skyward for Venus Move |
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By MIKE CORDER
Associated Press Writer
June 08, 2004
Email this story.
Astronomy buffs hunched over their telescopes Tuesday, staring at the sky through dark filters as a black ball - the planet Venus - began creeping across the face of the sun in one of the rarest of celestial spectacles.
In Australia, one of the first places to glimpse the transit of Venus, the sight has special significance. This country's east coast was "discovered" by British explorer James Cook on his way home from viewing the 1769 transit in Tahiti.
Planetariums the world over - from India's eastern city of Bhubaneswar to New York City - set up telescopes with the solar filters needed to watch the event, while two observatories in Spain's Canary Islands planned to use the transit to recalculate the distance between the earth and sun.
A blue sky over Sydney gave about 40 people looking through telescopes at the city's observatory a clear view of the transit as it began mid-afternoon. Telescopes were set up on lawns and inside, while an image of the transit was projected onto a white screen for safe viewing.
"Venus is just marching into the sun," said Andrew Constantine, an education officer at the observatory. "It's very exciting."
But in many places clouds obscured the show, with observatories in Japan reporting rain. The overcast skies in Hong Kong didn't stop more than 100 people from lining up at the Hong Kong Space Museum where several telescopes were waiting.
Keith London, an amateur astronomer who lives at the foot of the Mt. Lofty Ranges on the edge of the Outback in South Australia state, was hosting a transit party, inviting his neighbors to watch the show through his telescope thanks to a filter he had shipped from the United States specially for the event.
He said he would hold off on sipping too much wine until the sun had set.
"You must never drive a telescope under the influence," he cautioned.
Transits of Venus occur twice - eight years apart - about every century, when the sun, Venus and Earth precisely line up. Past transits - the last pair were in 1874 and 1882 - helped astronomers calculate Earth's distance from the sun. This time, Tuesday's transit and one in 2012 carry little scientific significance, but they've still stirred up plenty of interest.
In Thailand, hundreds of people gathered at observatories across the country, only to be disappointed by cloudy skies. Many people in the mostly Buddhist country believe in astrological implications of planetary movements, especially rare ones.
"Venus eclipsing the sun means that Venus will gain huge power, but the power will have a negative affect on finance and love," Phingyo Phongchareon, a well known astrologer, was quoted as saying in an interview with the Matichon newspaper.
People in Africa, Europe and the Middle East would see the entire transit, while the northeast corner of the United States and Canada would see only the tail end of the event, said Darren Osborne, education spokesman with Australia's Commonwealth Science & Industrial Research Organization.
Australians would not get to see the whole six-hour, 12-minute show. The sun will have set Down Under before the transit finishes. The event started at about 1:13 a.m. and ends at 7:26 a.m. EDT, give or take a few seconds.
"It's not as beautiful or exciting as a solar eclipse, but given the historical significance of it - through Cook - and given that it's been over 120 years since it last happened, I think it's a pretty interesting thing to see," Osborne said.
In India, about 5,000 people were expected to turn up at the Pathani Samanta Planetarium in Bhubaneswar, where organizers had brought in several telescopes and binoculars fitted with solar filters.
The two observatories in the Canary Islands were recalculating the distance between the earth and the sun, but "don't expect anything new," said Luis Cuesta of the Canary Islands Astrophysics Institute.
In the Danish capital, Copenhagen, scientists expected hundreds of people to watch Venus' transit from 20 telescopes set up outside the Tycho Brahe observatory.
"We expect people will keep passing by throughout the day," said observatory spokesman Micael Linden-Voernle. "And the weather in the eastern part of the country is going to be just fine."
In New York, the Hayden Planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History planned to set up a bank of telescopes in Central Park to give people a view once the sun rises above Manhattan's skyline.
Jun. 8th, 2004 @ 04:58 am
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Sometimes my dreams mesh with reality and I don't know the difference. Well I was talking to someone in a dream when I moved back from Biloxi and I asked about my friend Tim, she said "Oh Tim moved to Michigan to live with some family." Well I thought this was real until I found out the other day that he never moved to Michigan and the reason I haven't seen him is because he's dead. He hung himself from a tree in his parents front yard. I met Tim while I was hospitalized as a teenager. Another one down. It seems like they come so frequently now, the troubled youth that I was a part of is dying one by one sometimes by two's and I wonder what makes me different and if I might be the next to go. I'm always on the road, it would take a slip up, a day dream that overwhelms me, a sneeze, and crash. There seems to be a pattern.
Jun. 8th, 2004 @ 02:54 am
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dahmersdate's journal
